So here’s something that I really need to work on.
I need to stop letting my emotions get the best of me. I also need to stop getting so angry at things and just let it go.
When I was younger, it was really bad. When someone pissed me off, I would just cling onto it –I wouldn’t be able to sleep because I was so angry, and the thought of the situation would keep running through mind all night as I tried to fall asleep.
I’m better now, but it still affects me from time to time.
Sometimes, I would just be sitting at my computer trying to watch some YouTube, for instance, and if a trigger of a memory of someone or something that recently upset me pops up, it would consume me. I would get angrier and angrier by the minute.
Like this one time… I think it was a few weeks ago. I have this one student that I tutor, and boy, she got attitude! She is so rude and inappropriate, and she thinks she’s all that and a bag of chips (do people still say that?). She frustrates me so much mainly because she doesn’t listen when I tell her to keep her voice down or to not bother other students. I was so mad that day that the thought of her and her bad behaviour just took over my mind. I couldn’t focus on anything else!
I tried to calm myself down by repeating this one quote from Bruce Lee, where he said that the person who angers you is essentially your controller, but it didn’t work. I even tried to logically convince myself by saying that it was so silly that a kid is able to control my mind like this. But again, it didn’t work.
However, after a while of forcing myself to calm down, I was able to let it go and focus on other things.
But holding onto angry emotions is still a problem for me and I do need to work on it, even though I am much better at handling these situations than before.
But, argh, it’s so difficult! It’s so much easier to be angry than to be calm and logical. But it’s something that I have to work on and I’m going to try my best to improve.
Do you have this problem? Share it below in the comments. Maybe by talking about it, you’ll be able to let go of some of its hold on you. That’s what I hope it will do for me.